Heartbreaking News

It hard to believe that my dad had past away. My tear keep on falling every time i remember those date and time. Why him? Why now? Those question keep on playing in my mind. The truth is i still cant accept this. Maybe I can fake a smile. Force a laugh in front everyone. But every night i keep on crying myself to bed. It has been 3 and half month now since he die. There now words can explain how down deep i feel rite now. 

Dear dad, I know you can't read this. But I just wanna say that I love you so much. I miss you so bad. I miss the way you talk. The way you smile. Thanks for those unconditional love that you had give. I love you so much. I miss your warm hug. You always gonna be my favorite man. My one and only. My first boyfriend. My bestfriend. My everything.You know I would have realized how fortunate I am to have a dad who is always there for me. While it's too late for lot of things, and is already too late for me to tell u that I appreciate how loving u are. How giving you've been & that even though I may not always be good on showing it, but I love u very much. Im sorry for not being able to safe you that day. And I keep on blaming myself for what happen. Im such a stupid person. I keep on asking myself why cant i be a doctor and safe my own dad. There many thing play in my mind rite now. Im sorry. I love you so much.

Ya'Allah kau tempatkanlah arwah ayahanda ku di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Tempatkanlah dia di surga mu. Di dunia tempat kau berpenat. Di akhirat tempat kau berehat. Tenanglah di sana ayah. Setiap yang hidup pasti akan merasai matikan. Nanti Wani pun akan menyusul. I promise you that I will take care mom and adik. 

A Brand New Start

Im gonna promise myself to be a better woman for me and my own family. The past is a past. Need to focus on my future. I had lose so much and it hurts me badly. But it okay. I know Allah have better plan for me. It now or never. I need to change.